Resourceful Teen Parenting
with Steve and Kristyne McDaniel
Steve and I have both been through the difficult task of raising children after a divorce. Raising children of any age is not a simple task even with a two parent family. Raising teenagers is a challenge all its own whether you are in a single parent family, a two parent family, an expanded family from a cooperative divorce situation, or a family filled with conflict after divorce.
It surely is true that you’ll get your fair share of trying times and troubling tantrums, but you’ll also get a tremendous share of the many joys of parenthood as well. It is and will be very trying and you will need a clear Path to tread on, with clear, adaptable, and achieveable goals.
I my humble opinion; having made it through Childhood, Teenhood, Adulthood, Parenthood, a time with children who have grown into adulthood (by my definition), and now with Married adults with children of their own, I feel I have some measure of credibility to suggest Responses to Parenting.
There are different stages of Parenting; Babies, Children, Youth, or Preteen, Teen, Young Adult, Adult, Married Adult, and Adults with Children. There are many variations and differences in these stages and you will need a Path that gets you through all of them will the least amount of damage to Yourself and your Offspring.
As an Educator, Counselor, and Minister I have experienced, from those I have worked with, many variations, joys, torments, senses of failure, partial success, and those who can not make sense of 'what happened'.
Many parents with children who have lived into adulthood, and from my experience there are many who do not make it, may begin to share another area of Joy. When you can do things with your grown children you will discover a completely new role that will provide you with many happy times and joys you never dreamed of.
This will be a time of difference and a necessary adaptation. You are no longer a Parent Parenting, but a fellow participant on the Life's Path Joy.
You are now a fellow Adult, and, at times,an advisor, when asked, or when you can tactfully fit another way of looking at something. If you attempt to be a Director, your Role will come to an end. Your children are now adults and they will feel have worked hard to get there. They will demand respect for that effort, no matter how You may feel they have done in that effort. Your Role provides the most joy and inclusion in their lives when you leave out, "I'm only trying to help", etc. Look for them to learn how to Parent in a Positive Way, on a Positive Path to getting better, bit by bit.
Another additional area of Joy will be when your children have children. Then you will need to adapt into an entirely different parenting role that will provide you with different joys, responsibility, adventures. You will need to refrain from worrying, as it will come to naught. Your joys will come from being their and not from your 'orders' and suggestions. Guide very carefully.
Being a Single Parent is similar to Parenting in general. Many of the same Paths will lead to successes. Please do not expect or strive to be a 'total success'. Strive to be a little better each moment. Reward your child or children and Yourself with Praise when things just go a bit better. Look for being 'Better' instead of 'Bitter'. Remember, Joy comes in stages and in a progression.
You will have many questions, one of the first ones you’ll have to decide upon is how far you’re willing to go for the sake of happiness.
What happens if you meet someone you want to have a relationship with? Being a single parent, this isn’t all that unlikely as you might think. So do you enter into this relationship knowing that it can’t go anywhere because you won’t disrupt your kids and they don’t need the added stress? Or do you go ahead and start dreaming about what you could be like as a normal two parent family?
The worst happens and your kids absolutely detest your new partner. What then, being a single parent do you throw that person out of your life for the sake of your children’s happiness and peace of mind? Or do you go ahead and carve out some happiness for yourself, knowing that your kids will, eventually – might – get to like this new person on their lives?
Being a single parent isn’t easy and it might be nice to think how your kids could benefit from being in a two parent family. Many of the tougher decisions in your life could now be shared with someone else, and you’d have someone to confide your fears and joys in as well.
Being a single parent and having only yourself for you to rely on, you’ll need to make all the decisions and decide what’s good for your family and what’s not. This includes new relationships for you and how your kids take it, and also includes such things as school problems, dating problems, possible injuries and any number of other things that goes with the territory of being a parent.
Contrary to what you might have heard or what you believe, kids will become needier emotionally as they grow up and into their teen years. Being a single parent family you will therefore as far as possible need to provide them with the emotional support of a two parent family.
Your rewards for persevering through these trying times will come later when you realize that despite having the cards stacked against you and being a single parent with only yourself to rely on you managed to raise fine upstanding kids who are a credit to you.
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Interested in learning more? I cover all this in much more detail in my new eBook, which you can get instant access to. Click here to learn more. |  |
